A letter to my son on his 7th birthday

My little love,

You are such a big boy now! Seven years old! I'm excited for you to finish sleeping so we can have fun doing all of your favorite things - we will snuggle on the "Fiffer-feffer-feff" (what we call our big couch) while we read as many books as you want. We'll of course make sure to read a bunch of Dr. Seuss books and ones with Mickey Mouse in them. Next we'll sit up at the piano and you can play (and I can play next to you if you want, you have always liked sitting by me at the piano). And then at some point tonight we'll let you have a fun candle-lit bath - maybe we'll even put your star projector in the bathroom!

I know you can't really eat anything by mouth right now, but we're planning to make you a frozen strawberry-banana smoothie "cake" that we can put candles in and give you a taste of. Although I am guessing you'd rather just look at the candles than taste the smoothie. You love looking at twinkly lights so much!

My sweet boy, you are such a light to our family. You bring such a feeling of peace and calmness to our otherwise super busy lives (mostly chauffeuring you around to all your appointments because you are a VERY important person!) Thank you for always wanting to snuggle me and give me loves. Every effort you make to smile at me when I talk to you makes my heart soar! I could cry everytime you are able to smile, and the happy squeals you make whenever you are doing something fun, or are just SO excited to see Daddy, is just the best sound in the whole world! I will do anything to see you happy!

You are such a special boy, Damian. You are so full of love. And I can tell you have a close relationship with Heavenly Father. You always have.

When you were really little, long before your diagnosis, a few people told us we should really consider getting you a modeling agent because you were (and are) SO adorable! You have your dad's dirty blonde hair and his great skin and oh my goodness, you have the most munchable "mochi cheeks!" I actually did think it would be fun to try to get you an agent, so I put a small collection of photos together (it was hard to narrow it down because you are SO cute!) and got ready to send it out to some talent agencies. Like I do before most situations, I quickly said a silent prayer and asked God to let us have a shot at getting you an agent if it was a good adventure for us to have.

I think I only remember this experience because I was really surprised at what happened next. I immediately felt a very strong feeling in my body, like a voice. "NO," it said. "Damian has something he needs to do in his life, and it is not this."

I was so surprised to have gotten that response, but from that moment on I knew for sure that Heavenly Father had a special mission for you. I'm still not exactly sure what it is - maybe you already know - but I'm absolutely committed to helping you complete it. Like I always tell you: I've got you, bud.

I love you so much, Damian. You are so strong. You are so brave. I didn't know this when I named you Damian (your Dad is a big Batman fan and first heard it as the character who was Batman's son) but your name means "someone who tames, subdues, or masters" and historically implied someone who could bring situations and illnesses under control. You are a special boy, Damian, and you have certainly "tamed" our family with your gentle and joyful spirit. You are so kind and loving. I am so grateful to be your mom. Every day I spend with you is a true gift.

I hope I can be like you when I grow up.

Happy birthday, little prince.

Love, Mom

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Thank you to my angel friend, Heather DelHoyo Photography, for so perfectly capturing my son's sweet nature in these photos. I treasure these time capsules so much!

Thank you to all who have helped us this month and those who continue to fight alongside us as we fundraise for Damian's treatment in development. I am so honored to know you and we are SO blessed by you. You are making a world of difference for our family, but also for so many many more like ours. Thank you so so much.